Success that Doesn’t Crush Your Soul

A new, more sane way to strive.

Everyone wants to be successful. But few people take the time and energy to define the success they want. As a result, they spend most, if not all, of their lives chasing what society superimposes on them as success. Examples include a bigger house; a faster car; a more prestigious position; greater relevance on the internet. Yet, even if someone finally attains these so-called successes, they are often left wanting.

In ancient eastern psychology there is a concept known as the hungry ghost. The hungry ghost has an endless stomach. He keeps on eating, stuffing himself sick, but he never feels full. It’s a severe disorder.

The survival of a consumerist economy, like the one most of us live in, depends on the creation of hungry ghosts. But you, me — all of us — can choose to opt out of this game. We don’t have to become hungry ghosts. We simply need to step back and reflect upon what it is that we actually want. Simple, sure. But not necessarily easy.

“Most people never stop to question the premise of their true wants and all of the activity aimed toward them,” writes the psychologist, sociologist, and philosopher Erich Fromm, in his 1941 book, Escape from Freedom. “In school, children want to have good marks, as adults people want to be more and more…