Maybe there’s something you’re trying to hide
If you ever consume information about nutrition, relationships, fitness, or productivity, then you know that people often make things overly complex. Sometimes complexity is necessary but often it is not, and it can make things worse rather than better.
On the supply side, many people make things complex so they can sell them. It is hard to monetize the basics. But come up with an intricate and sexy-sounding approach to pretty much any endeavor and people will pay — and often a lot — for it. But what about the demand side? …
At a recent press conference, an interviewer asked how he keeps his mind right
In the midst of the NBA finals, following a string of awe-inspiring performances, 26-year-old Giannis Antetokounmpo was asked during a press conference how he keeps his mind right. His three-part answer, in his own words: “Focusing on the past is ego. Focusing on the future is pride. Focusing on the present is humility.”
What zen-master Giannis is saying, I think, is that when you are fully (or at least close to fully) in the present moment, you are automatically humbled.
Whatever happened in the past does not matter.
Whatever might happen in the future does not matter.
All that matters…
Why slower and smaller is often better
For myriad reasons, the culture of the past two decades has been obsessed with growth. I am going to call this the growth era. In the growth era, it doesn’t so much matter what you are growing — your company, your audience, your income, your network, your muscles, or the size of your house — but just that you are growing. Growth is good, the story goes, and growth is an end in and of itself.
Perhaps it is time reconsider this convention. What if smaller is better?
In my coaching practice, very rarely do I help people get and…
There’s real power in minimizing your choices
The more choices we have the better, or so we think. But that’s not always the case. Constraints, that is, artificially minimizing choices, are becoming increasingly important to our mental health. We should embrace them in more areas of our lives.
Here’s why: In a world where technology is accelerating, you have access to what, for all intents and purposes, is infinity in more areas of your life. …
7 principles to help you read more and read better
Deep reading, or full engagement in a book, is an absolute joy. It is good for mind and spirit, and it is also a competitive advantage in today’s knowledge-based economy. Increasingly, people struggle to pay attention to just about anything, let alone a book. Yet deep reading confers many benefits above and beyond watching a YouTube video or skimming an article. These benefits include developing a richer understanding of a topic, increasing your ability to pay attention itself, and enhanced creative thinking.
Here are seven principles for developing a nonfiction deep reading habit. …
Attempting to power through isn’t always the answer to feeling stuck
I, like most people I know, get stuck all the time — stuck on thoughts, feelings, physical challenges, creative projects. And when I get stuck on something, The first thing I do is attempt to work through it: I try to unpack the thought, unwind the feeling, bust the plateau, or force the creative insight.
Sometimes this works. Often it doesn’t. When it doesn’t, the best thing I can do is step away. But it’s also the hardest. My brain, like most human brains, hates leaving things undone. I face a strong urge to lean in and continue picking at…
A strategy for keeping something in your life even when it isn’t your first priority
Bear with me: This isn’t a fitness story, even though it starts out like one.
About two years ago, for a wide variety of reasons — including time, mental energy, and a calf that becomes painful and explodes with repetitive motion — I decided to shift my armchair athleticism from running to strength training. Abruptly, I went from running 50 miles per week to running no miles at all, from trying to avoid gaining any unnecessary muscle mass to trying to gain as much as possible.
Amid all those changes, one quality I didn’t want to lose was my cardiovascular…
Understand the difference between reacting and responding
As an executive coach, I’ve had plenty of conversations with clients about learning to cope with the unexpected. For obvious reasons, it’s a skill that’s become all the more essential over the past year—and it’s one that’s going to stay essential as we navigate all the awkwardness and ambiguity that comes with re-entering the world.
Here’s what I tell them: The only real constant in life is change. And when confronted with it, most people go down one of two roads. They either respond or react.
Reacting literally means to meet one action with another one. It is immediate and…
Here’s the advice I’m giving my coaching clients
I recently tweeted a piece of advice that I often tell my coaching clients: If I had to feel motivated to start a workout, I would have done 23 workouts last year, not 230. If I had to feel inspired to start writing, well, there’d be hardly any writing. If you want to stop 20 minutes in, fine. But give yourself a chance.
It’s a platitude, yes. But it’s also true and not just for the concrete tasks on your to-do list. In every part of life, there are highs and lows, periods of energy and periods of exhaustion. Sometimes…
Change is inevitable, so focus on what you can control
We tend to live under the illusion that things are stable — and that when they aren’t, it’s a disruption from the norm. If the chaos of 2020 (and, so far, 2021) has thrown any truth into focus, it’s how much we crave a straight line. An orderly progression from point A to point B.
But really, as I tell my coaching clients, the norm is that things are always changing. There is no straight line. For better or worse, our lives move in cycles:
- Order → disorder → reorder
- Orientation → disorientation → reorientation
- Integration → disintegration → reintegration
Brad Stulberg
Bestselling author of The Practice of Groundedness (https://buff.ly/3zgpxLa). Co-Creator of The Growth Equation. Coach to executives, entrepreneurs, and MDs.
